


time of birth

by mellarosa



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Gen, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:55:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21931069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mellarosa/pseuds/mellarosa
Summary: it is junos birthday.probably.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 36





	time of birth

peter lets a smile - sharp, still, but softened by sentiment - spread across his face as he opens the door to junos room. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JUNO!" he calls. 

juno steel, who went to bed at 9pm like an old lady, sits up and blinks blearily. "...what?"

peter does not let this deter his enthusiasm. "ITS YOUR _BIRTHDAY_!!!!"

"nu- ransom," juno says slowly glancing at his comms, "its... 1045pm. youre an hour and a half off."

now its peters turn to blink, confused. "no, its - my comms say its midnight?"

rita, traipsing in from the common room with a bag of popcorn, pipes up in her trademark loud voice. "nah, mistah ransom, my comms is sayin its 1:22am _exactly_! an you can quote me on that!" her grin is wide and sweet and sparkling and could probably convince a hardened assassin or a master criminal to listen to do whatever she wants (and as a matter of fact, it often has). 

jet walks in behind her. there is popcorn caught in his lapel. "incorrect, rita. it is 10:16pm on december the 23rd."

peter frowns. "thats not-"

they are interrupted by vespa kicking her door open and screaming, "CAN YOU ALL BE QUIET?! ITS _TWO_ IN THE _GODDAMN MORNING_!!!"

"something," peter says, "is not right here."

buddy announces her presence by snaking an arm around vespas waist. "youre not wrong, pete. my comms tell me its 11:52pm. "

everyone is silent for a long minute as they digest this information.

jet speaks up first. "this... may explain why no one is ever on time."

juno rolls his eyes. " _oh_ , ya _think_?"

"i do," jet says, unaffected as usual by junos sarcasm. "we _are_ all using standard earth time, correct?"

"why would we be using earth time???" juno asks. "we're on mars time, yeah? i mean most of us are martian and we left from cerberus, i just thought-"

"dont be silly, mistah steel! im usin the standard galactic stream time! helps me keep up with my shows." rita crosses her arms to punctuate the last few words.

peter checks his own comms again. "oh dear, i - i do believe i forgot to switch over from the clock of that last jupiterean moon, im so sorry."

"i have no idea what time im on, but im right." vespa crosses her arms like rita. its a little more effective with vespa.

buddy pinches the bridge of her nose and takes a deep breath to calm down, but doesnt seem to actually retain any calm. "WE ARE ON A SPACESHIP," she says, "TRAVELING THROUGH SPACE. WE ARE USING THE _INTERGALACTIC STANDARD TIME_. LIKE _EVERY OTHER SPACESHIP_. " 

juno, still in bed, glares furiously. "how would i know that?! _IVE NEVER LEFT MARS_!"

peter cuts in hastily to diffuse the tension. "as... _illuminating_ as this all may be, could we perhaps celebrate junos birthday a little early? im afraid i left the candles on junos cake lit, and-"

and, because peter mentioned it, the fire alarm blares, sprinklers go off, and everyone is immediately drenched. 

"whoops," peter 'ransom' nureyev says, in a very small voice. 

juno sighs, but theres a tiny smile at the corner of his lips. "at least its still better than last years birthday."

rita looks a little hurt, but peter even more so. "but i got you flowers last year," he protests. 

juno finally leaps out of bed. "that was YOU?!" peter backs up a step, startled. " _YOU_ -"

buddy has lost even more of her calm. "can your fraught romantic past wait??? my _SHIP_ IS ON _FIRE_." 

rita jumps and claps her hands. "ooh! _ooh_! mistah steel! blow out the ship and make a wish!"

vespa turns around. "im going back to bed."

**Author's Note:**

> [also on tumblr](https://dishesoap.tumblr.com/post/189840441683/peter-lets-a-smile-sharp-still-but-softened-by)


End file.
